Friday, 8 February 2013

Online Greenlight Review Part 2


  1. OGR 10/02/2013

    Evening Alex,

    You powered through the storyboarding process - well done. Not sure you're yet making the most of the tight-rope sequence in terms of making the audience truly experience the adrenalin-rush so implied. I think you could still have more fun with this scene - more extreme perspectives etc - so when you come to prepare your presentation storyboards perhaps you'll finesse things a little further.

    I see I'm going to have to really push you in terms of environment design, Alex - your cemetary image is interesting in terms of its scratchy, expressive qualities, but it also feels like a bit of a step backwards in terms of sophistication in light of your more dynamic approach in Project 2. This is as true for the rather unconvincing 'stick man' - I can't help prodding you towards actually applying some of your knowledge re. human anatomy etc. as soaked up in your life-drawing classes; how about we make it a rule from this point on that if you include a human figure, you should at least take a moment to ensure that you're drawing it credibly!

    I want you to think much more stylishly about this underworld cemetary of yours. I know you're a worrier, Alex - but stop it, and take a risk instead. As discussed previously, I think you could adopt a more bold style: I don't know, but when I think about your world, I can't help but think of what is simple yet very atmospheric about these two examples:

    You could 'layer up' your underworld in this way - indeed, if you were feeling very bold, you could even decide that the whole style of the animation could change once the janitor arrives in the cemetery.

    In terms of your character designs for your janitor, I like number 41 on page 6 - he looks like someone the audience might want to cheat death.

    Again - just to reiterate; come submission, I'll be looking for evidence that students have applied themselves to soaking up the resources available to them on myUCA - both in terms of improving their character design and also demonstrating growing fluency with storyboarding conventions. You've wrestled your story into a coherent whole, but now, Alex, I want to see you seeking to produce work that is as professional and as ambitious and technically proficient as possible. You've done it before - you can do it again.

  2. It's been great to see you working with Matt, Alex - it looks as if you've been working in a properly supportive way :)

    So - stuff to think about; sound design! You've got a real 'dark circus/carnival' opportunity here, so you should be gathering soundtrack ideas and SFX in preparation; good sound design takes a long time, so don't underestimate this aspect of your workflow.

    I suggest you change your title: 'Cheating Death' rather gives your audience too much insight into the story before they've seen it; you need something more suggestive, perhaps a pun or word-play - get some suggestions up for discussion.